A Review Before the Review. Part I

If you tell me I am a competitive person, I will fiercely deny it to the point where I will do anything to convince you otherwise. That is an argument I will never lose.

I just have a knack for finding competitive careers. It started in Los Angeles when I moved there to be an actor. Hollywood mostly defines “talent and hardwork” as “luck and luck.” So naturally, I got too famous too quickly and became disenchanted. I thought selling toner to bored, lonely secretaries would be more my style. It turned out I was just as bored and lonely as the women on the other end of the phone.

That was almost two years ago. Enter advertising.

After nearly 2 years in advertising school, I’ve found something that I can sink my teeth into that doesn’t buck me off. What a glorious invention, advertising – giving creatively driven people with zero direction a focus and a reason to feel useful. It’s all games but it’s definitely not all fun.

Advertising is a one dollar carnival game with three lead bottles and a foam ball. The odds are against you from the start, but when you knock all three of ‘em down with the perfect pitch, you’re on top of the world. You're a genius. And then you get your styrofoam filled elephant, they reset the cans and ask you to do it all over again. But now you’re broke, there’s a thousand faster, smarter people playing next you, and you suddenly feel very stupid and very afraid.

Actually, that's pretty much exactly what next week’s Portfolio Review is going to be like.